Life does not start gently for everyone. If life had started gentler for the baby girl of this story who was born at the hospital, she wouldn’t have gone home without a name.
It is sadful truth that foster care parents are often subjected to judgement. Foster parenting can be a comforting experience, but it also comes with its own set of spiritual hurdles. Foster parents must grip with the child’s past ordeal and the behavioral issues that may go with them, which can extend from fury at the child’s previous situations to remorse or impotence about not being able to delete the child’s past discomfort. One of the largest inner challenges of foster parenthood is learning to pass goodbye when a foster child leaves their home. Read this real story to get answers to the questions you’re scared to ask about foster care.
“Hi Grace, a tiny baby girl was standard alone at the hospital. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a birth certificate yet. We hope to take care of her until we find a nice home for her. Can you come here and bring her in an hour?”
“When I received the phone call, we were choosing pants at Target for the 12-year-old we were taking care of. I and my husband accepted the request without asking anything. We immediately bought some clothes and diapers, got a car seat from home, and withing 45 minutes, we carried a sweet little girl named Safe, who turned in to part of our family.”
After 4 Months
“Hi, Grace. The doctor wants to bring Safe (we can’t change her name) to the kids’ hospital. It looks like she wasn’t tested when she was born, and there might be some things we didn’t realize about. Can you come back from your vacation early to take her to this appointment?”
We arranged an appointment. They called her real name on the speaker, “safe surrender”. People looked fixedly at us as we went to the nurse. They didn’t speak it, but I could tell what they were thinking, “Why did her parents give her that name?” The doctors did many tests on her heart, kidneys, and spine.
They discovered some issues since birth that essential a few operations and some time with a special bag. We had more examinations, appointments, and had to describe to the doctors why our baby has a different name.
“Hi, Grace! I received your message. She has some critical medical treatments. Do you believe your family can take care of her? We might need to direct her to a special home if required.”
We waited for it. We continued with her when she awakened from surgery. We kissed her when she was sorrowful. We educated how to take care of a colostomy bag. We purchased things we wanted and paid off for them ourselves. We bought her new clothes that match the colostomy bag.
We saw her recover. She had trusting eyes on us. We adored her, and she overcame it. She had another operation when she was 10 months old to fix the colostomy bag, and she never had troubles again.
Hi Grace, we placed an advertisement in the newspaper to search Safe’s dad, but nobody has replied. It shows that required a new family to adopt her. Would you love to be Safe’s new mom or dad?”
Our fostering journey is honestly about one simple thing: hope. It is an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to things and circumstances in one’s life. The truth is that children will feel sad. They will feel frustrated. Kids will feel stressed. Kids will get mad. We can’t always control what happens but, but it makes us believe that there’s more and better things for families going through tough times and kids who are feeling sad.
Sure, let’s speak about the questions you might have but haven’t asked yet.
“How can you care for lots of kids and then let them go back to their homes?”
I hope that the families of those people have found good solutions to deal with hard times. I also anticipate that we’ve made powerful and extensive relationships with their real families. And I believe we would meet them again, but in favorable situations.
“How do you deal with really bad actions or manners?”
When we sense really a rage, it might really be because we’re dejected. If we can control the anger, incidentally we can stick out the sadness. And if we can hold out the sorrow, we feel better.
“How do you manage all the changes happening in your home all the time?”
I trust that even when things unexpectedly change and might be terrifying for children, our home can be a secure and consoling place for them. I’m confident that we can assist them feel all right and get practiced to a new way of living together.
“I would feel really sad all the time. How can you even listen to their tales?”
Every night, I wake up many times because kids want me. I sat in a rocking chair for a long while, keeping littles and comforting them until they come to an end of crying. I help with injuries, give medicines, participate in therapies at home, and complete a lot of forms query for various types of help.
I also listen to a little kiddie talk about frightening things at home and see a teen fight with feeling sad. I keep checking the fridge to show the kids that there’s always food. I go to meetings where we talk about how to help kids in school, and I talk up for them.
But do you recognize what else I do? I cry. Some days are not easy, and I query my hubby if I can stop because it feels like too much. But he tells me that having hope makes everything feel easy. So, every day, I take a big breath, hold on to hope, and start all over again.
Now, let’s go back to our story.
“Hi Grace! Great news! We’ve taken a date in March for your adoption party! You can invite anyone you want. Some social workers will be there too because they want to confirm everything goes well.”
At ten o’clock on 14th March 2018, I went over to a special place. I promised to tell the truth. I saw our friends and family, 75 people were there to celebrate with us. I looked at my husband and the sweet little girl who lived with us for 14 months. Her name, Safe Surrender, showed how she came into the world. She lost a lot, but we hoped for a better future. I talked a bit, and then…
“Grace, what name did your family choose for her?”
I looked at my daughter, and when I answered, she grinned at me really big.
“Her name is Arya. Arya Hope.”
She is 3 years old and really joy! Now, we celebrated the day she formally became part of our family for the second time. We’re taking care of other kids too – Arya has an earlier foster sister, an elder foster brother, and a tiny foster brother.
